Bottom Ten: Week 4

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Hello again. The Bottom Ten rolls into week four, because teams are still failing miserably and someone has to mock them for it. Keep checking back to previous posts to see how my scattered brain ranked last week’s teams that are riding the struggle bus. Last week, some teams disappointed me by winning, and others made me laugh at them for continued suffering. Here’s my take this week on the nation’s worst.

 

1. Binghampton (still haven’t won):  Sorry Bearcats, now that Towson put a real number in their win column, you’re the last team with a goose egg for a win total. I will proclaim in the post that if you don’t beat Radford Saturday, you will end the season without a win, you heard it here. Binghampton doesn’t rank in the top 300 in any major statistical category, and its leading rebounder has a whopping six rebounds per game. Ever notice how minor league baseball teams always have awesome logos to make up for sub-par play? Well, Binghampton’s logo is awesome.

2. Towson (1-27): What can I say about Towson that hasn’t already been said? They were soooooooooo close to beating James Madison, only losing by two at home. Towson’s season finale is at James Madison, maybe Towson can get some revenge, but I doubt it.

3. Kennesaw State (3-24): The Owls are riding a 15-game losing streak, and the struggle bus. Their last chance for a win is against Lipscomb, who I remember not so fondly as the team that would have upset my Arizona Wildcats in Tucson if not for Nic Wise’s last-second heroics. For that reason alone, I’m saying the Owls don’t pick up another win.

4. Texas Tech (1-12 Big 12 record): I said last week that Texas Tech needed to beat Oklahoma if it wanted a conference win this week, and the Red Raiders did just that. So why then did they move up the list? Because they followed up their “huge” win by scoring only 38 points against a struggling Texas A&M team.

5. UC Davis (3-22): This is another team that I’m upset with. After mocking Davis last week, they’ve won two of their last three! Come on Aggies, I thought we had something special.

6. Rhode Island (5-22): I’ll give Rhode Island some credit; they’re playing in a really tough Atlantic-10 conference. I can honestly say I don’t know if the Rams would fare better in the PAC-12 – I think that highly of the A-10 – but last year Rhode Island was at the top of a strong conference. Now the Rams are in the dumpster, begging for the season to end so that they can fire their coach.

7. Georgia Tech (2-9 ACC): Wake Forest got the elusive ACC Bottom Ten berth last week, but then the Yellow Jackets did the unthinkable and lost by nine to the Demon Deacons in the battle of coolest nicknames.

8. Navy (3-22): Navy moves up in the amended “I won’t waste your time by writing about all the bad PAC 12 teams” list. Saturday is the Midshipmen’s ONLY shot at a victory at home against Colgate. You young men make your nation proud: please lose.

9. The PAC-12 (come on guys): Usually beating a dead horse is kind of fun, but this is just cruel. I mentioned earlier that most of these teams are riding the struggle bus. the PAC-12 is riding the struggle rocketship to the moon. Instead of putting Utah, USC, UCLA, Wazzu and ASU on this list, I decided to save everyone”s time by lumping them all together, because, frankly, they could have their own Bottom Ten.

10. Baylor (not a contender): Baylor decided to try and be the Linderella story of the year by winning its first 17 games, but have since been humiliated by the Big 12′s real contenders. Baylor is undefeated against everyone except Kansas and Missouri. The Bears make this list because they let everyone down, and do not deserve to be in the top ten, so I put them in the Bottom Tehn.

 

The Bottom 10 shout-out this week is going to Oregon’s basketball court.  I can’t stand it and would love to hear other people’s thoughts about it in the comments.  I hate it almost as much as Boise’s blue turf.  I can only hope this isn’t a trend that catches on in college basketball.

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